I will eat it today. I will tell the other person that I was wrong, that I reacted badly and that my outburst was bitter and hurtful. I regret my attitude and behaviour, and I am sorry.
This will happen over lunch in just a couple of hours from now. The adrenalin is flowing. I am anxious because I don't know how the other person will take this, but since we are meeting together, I am hopeful. God grant me grace to proceed with pure motives because I am still ambivalent about the issues pertaining to the conflict. We can talk about those things in the future, but today, let me be clear and repentant about the wrong I have done. I will own my sin in the matter, mostly in how I lashed out and dredged up history - surprising even myself with the evidence of bitterness in my soul over things of which I have not yet let go. I will repent of this wrong and I will let go.
Lord, help. May the other person accept and forgive me.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Internship
OK, it's confirmed. They are going in May and June to Hong Kong, again. Two summers in a row seems very extravagant given that they are students and we are a family of ordinary means. However, my son is very excited and vocal about it, and I am excited for him. I'm sure my daughter is excited, too, but in a quieter way. Their trip, however, is not primarily a vacation. It is an investment in a growth opportunity. They will be doing an internship from the get-go that will require their full attention and involvement.
I'm very grateful to God for giving my kids this chance to be a meaningful part of the planning and execution of global-scale faith-centred events. Some of the projects lined up are: Global Day of Prayer (drawing a projected 40,000 people), Call2All conference, and a series of evangelistic events with extreme sports and youth concerts. I thank God for Lois, the organizer of these events, who will be personally taking my kids under her wing. I thank God for my aunt and uncle, who will provide their accomodation; my sister-in-law and her husband, who will lovingly look out for them; and other loved ones who will also look out for them. So much provided... I don't take any of this for granted, and I pray that my children will see God's hand at work in their lives by way of people who care and love so graciously.
There is no doubt that my kids will learn tons of useful stuff. It will be an experience that brings lasting positive impact. They will learn about sustained hard work and working toward a clear, real-time goal. They will pick up important life skills and see how things are done in a big way. They will also hone their people skills and perhaps get an opportunity to minister to others. Most of all, they will see first hand how the Spirit is alive and active today. Actually, it's a bit overwhelming as I think about it! I will be praying for them.
So, kids (although you are not really kids anymore!): Have fun! Depend on God! Pray! Work hard! Be gracious to everyone, always! Expect God to amaze you! He always will.
I'm very grateful to God for giving my kids this chance to be a meaningful part of the planning and execution of global-scale faith-centred events. Some of the projects lined up are: Global Day of Prayer (drawing a projected 40,000 people), Call2All conference, and a series of evangelistic events with extreme sports and youth concerts. I thank God for Lois, the organizer of these events, who will be personally taking my kids under her wing. I thank God for my aunt and uncle, who will provide their accomodation; my sister-in-law and her husband, who will lovingly look out for them; and other loved ones who will also look out for them. So much provided... I don't take any of this for granted, and I pray that my children will see God's hand at work in their lives by way of people who care and love so graciously.
There is no doubt that my kids will learn tons of useful stuff. It will be an experience that brings lasting positive impact. They will learn about sustained hard work and working toward a clear, real-time goal. They will pick up important life skills and see how things are done in a big way. They will also hone their people skills and perhaps get an opportunity to minister to others. Most of all, they will see first hand how the Spirit is alive and active today. Actually, it's a bit overwhelming as I think about it! I will be praying for them.
So, kids (although you are not really kids anymore!): Have fun! Depend on God! Pray! Work hard! Be gracious to everyone, always! Expect God to amaze you! He always will.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Growing
OK! The first Growing Leaders training session has come and gone on Saturday. Well, gone meaning that it's in the past, but hopefully not gone from our hearts and minds. Some of my thoughts about it:
Gratitude - to my heavenly Father. It felt, at least to me, that the Spirit was there, guiding, leading and speaking to us. And what a wonderful, fantastic group! For a minister of the gospel, a genuine God-ward response from the ones who receive the ministry is the most heart-warming of all things. I think I am going to love the ten months of this program. By the way, it didn't feel like a program. It felt more like a mini-retreat with all the best-loved elements of a time set aside for God: worship, prayer, study, meditation, fellowship, food, etc.
Anticipation - Of a work that God is doing with us. I think that the material is very good. It is especially appropriate that our first few sessions focus on the character and call of a leader. It looks like God is moving this group of individuals towards deepened maturity in Christ. I can hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of God building his kingdom through those who are available to him. This is a bunch through whom God can change the world! Really!
Community - finally knowing what life together in Christ is all about. I do not remember a time when a group of forty brothers and sisters got together monthly for a common experience. Even less has such learning been set into a monthly mentoring relationship - each participant in twos each month. This program is for our heads and for our hearts. If nothing else happens, I believe that we will come out of this with a heightened sense of community. We will know one another a little better, we will all have a shared understanding of leadership which informs our interaction, and we will have deepened friendships in Christ.
That's just a little of the exhilaration I feel. I'll talk about the challenging content later.
Gratitude - to my heavenly Father. It felt, at least to me, that the Spirit was there, guiding, leading and speaking to us. And what a wonderful, fantastic group! For a minister of the gospel, a genuine God-ward response from the ones who receive the ministry is the most heart-warming of all things. I think I am going to love the ten months of this program. By the way, it didn't feel like a program. It felt more like a mini-retreat with all the best-loved elements of a time set aside for God: worship, prayer, study, meditation, fellowship, food, etc.
Anticipation - Of a work that God is doing with us. I think that the material is very good. It is especially appropriate that our first few sessions focus on the character and call of a leader. It looks like God is moving this group of individuals towards deepened maturity in Christ. I can hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of God building his kingdom through those who are available to him. This is a bunch through whom God can change the world! Really!
Community - finally knowing what life together in Christ is all about. I do not remember a time when a group of forty brothers and sisters got together monthly for a common experience. Even less has such learning been set into a monthly mentoring relationship - each participant in twos each month. This program is for our heads and for our hearts. If nothing else happens, I believe that we will come out of this with a heightened sense of community. We will know one another a little better, we will all have a shared understanding of leadership which informs our interaction, and we will have deepened friendships in Christ.
That's just a little of the exhilaration I feel. I'll talk about the challenging content later.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Inconstancy
For all the talk about the world being a global village, how people are just a phone call away, the ease of online networking, and our ability to travel anywhere and everywhere, the physical distance between friends and loved ones still makes a difference in our ability to depend on one another. It helps me to know that someone is right there with me in an event or a meeting that we have planned or anticipated together.
But people move away. Changes in employment, housing needs, education, health - whatever - rearranges the available hands of reassurance on my shoulder every so often. Situations shift. Expectations, work to be done, people to see - all of these are not the same today as yesterday. The truth has come upon me forcefully once again: the only constant is change.
So you are moving away. I appreciate you for taking the time to reassure me that this current change is an opportunity for growth. It is a chance to see God at work through other people and means. Things are happening and there will be progress under his good hand. Even so, it is still hard for me to deal with this. As the emotions well up and blur my vision for a while, I realize, ever so haltingly, that all I can do is accept your reasoning. I take pause and remind myself that the foundation upon which the adventure of life unfolds is a Person who does not move away.
It is only because of this that I can let you go.
But people move away. Changes in employment, housing needs, education, health - whatever - rearranges the available hands of reassurance on my shoulder every so often. Situations shift. Expectations, work to be done, people to see - all of these are not the same today as yesterday. The truth has come upon me forcefully once again: the only constant is change.
So you are moving away. I appreciate you for taking the time to reassure me that this current change is an opportunity for growth. It is a chance to see God at work through other people and means. Things are happening and there will be progress under his good hand. Even so, it is still hard for me to deal with this. As the emotions well up and blur my vision for a while, I realize, ever so haltingly, that all I can do is accept your reasoning. I take pause and remind myself that the foundation upon which the adventure of life unfolds is a Person who does not move away.
It is only because of this that I can let you go.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Indeterminism
Things are a bit out of control... and I'm OK with it! Maybe it's because I'm older and have become used to the history of surprises in my life. Or maybe I'm resigned to the fact that my life projects always shape up in unexpected (and sometimes, unwanted) ways. But actually, recent developments are showing me that the one in charge is God himself. And that takes a whole load off!
Lately, I've been bothered by the "not enough" factor of who I am, or more accurately, what I do. If only I taught better, visited more, listened more carefully, shepherded more effectively, etc. All very self-centred and unrealistic. But really, the only thing I need to be is FAT (Faithful, Available, Teachable). This was one of the very first lessons I was taught by the guy who discipled me in first-year university. It's taken decades for the lesson to sink in.
Right now, I am part of an amazing new growth initiative in my worshipping community. I don't think I've so looked forward to the near future with my fellow sojourners in Christ as I do today. The thing is, although I'm the "leader" of the original "ideas and prayer" group, the vision and action that is being implemented has grown way past what we could engineer. The input and suggestions are creating something much better and more beautiful than I ever dreamed of. I tell you, the support and enthusiasm for where God is leading us just fills me with a sense of euphoria and anticipation. People who never talk to me are telling me they want to be part of this. It is something bigger than me or us. So, who is in control? Should I be surprised that God answers prayer?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). God is in control. Let me be FAT.
Lately, I've been bothered by the "not enough" factor of who I am, or more accurately, what I do. If only I taught better, visited more, listened more carefully, shepherded more effectively, etc. All very self-centred and unrealistic. But really, the only thing I need to be is FAT (Faithful, Available, Teachable). This was one of the very first lessons I was taught by the guy who discipled me in first-year university. It's taken decades for the lesson to sink in.
Right now, I am part of an amazing new growth initiative in my worshipping community. I don't think I've so looked forward to the near future with my fellow sojourners in Christ as I do today. The thing is, although I'm the "leader" of the original "ideas and prayer" group, the vision and action that is being implemented has grown way past what we could engineer. The input and suggestions are creating something much better and more beautiful than I ever dreamed of. I tell you, the support and enthusiasm for where God is leading us just fills me with a sense of euphoria and anticipation. People who never talk to me are telling me they want to be part of this. It is something bigger than me or us. So, who is in control? Should I be surprised that God answers prayer?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). God is in control. Let me be FAT.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Loiter
Ideas. Opinions. As many as there are friends and co-workers. So much to think about, and I know I'm an expert at thinking. And thinking. And thinking. But, it is not enough just to keep on thinking; not enough to only have ideas and opinions.
Everyone's waiting for something to happen. But we are at a wait-and-see impasse. Things need to move forward and upward. And we need to be in it together.
Everyone's waiting for something to happen. But we are at a wait-and-see impasse. Things need to move forward and upward. And we need to be in it together.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Backfire
Give advice only once, and do it in private. Give it twice, and you're a nag; or worse, an old fogey ethnic parent; or even worse, both. Aaargh!
