Growing

OK! The first Growing Leaders training session has come and gone on Saturday. Well, gone meaning that it's in the past, but hopefully not gone from our hearts and minds. Some of my thoughts about it:

Gratitude - to my heavenly Father. It felt, at least to me, that the Spirit was there, guiding, leading and speaking to us. And what a wonderful, fantastic group! For a minister of the gospel, a genuine God-ward response from the ones who receive the ministry is the most heart-warming of all things. I think I am going to love the ten months of this program. By the way, it didn't feel like a program. It felt more like a mini-retreat with all the best-loved elements of a time set aside for God: worship, prayer, study, meditation, fellowship, food, etc.

Anticipation - Of a work that God is doing with us. I think that the material is very good. It is especially appropriate that our first few sessions focus on the character and call of a leader. It looks like God is moving this group of individuals towards deepened maturity in Christ. I can hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of God building his kingdom through those who are available to him. This is a bunch through whom God can change the world! Really!

Community - finally knowing what life together in Christ is all about. I do not remember a time when a group of forty brothers and sisters got together monthly for a common experience. Even less has such learning been set into a monthly mentoring relationship - each participant in twos each month. This program is for our heads and for our hearts. If nothing else happens, I believe that we will come out of this with a heightened sense of community. We will know one another a little better, we will all have a shared understanding of leadership which informs our interaction, and we will have deepened friendships in Christ.

That's just a little of the exhilaration I feel. I'll talk about the challenging content later.

Inconstancy

For all the talk about the world being a global village, how people are just a phone call away, the ease of online networking, and our ability to travel anywhere and everywhere, the physical distance between friends and loved ones still makes a difference in our ability to depend on one another. It helps me to know that someone is right there with me in an event or a meeting that we have planned or anticipated together.

But people move away. Changes in employment, housing needs, education, health - whatever - rearranges the available hands of reassurance on my shoulder every so often. Situations shift. Expectations, work to be done, people to see - all of these are not the same today as yesterday. The truth has come upon me forcefully once again: the only constant is change.

So you are moving away. I appreciate you for taking the time to reassure me that this current change is an opportunity for growth. It is a chance to see God at work through other people and means. Things are happening and there will be progress under his good hand. Even so, it is still hard for me to deal with this. As the emotions well up and blur my vision for a while, I realize, ever so haltingly, that all I can do is accept your reasoning. I take pause and remind myself that the foundation upon which the adventure of life unfolds is a Person who does not move away.

It is only because of this that I can let you go.

Indeterminism

Things are a bit out of control... and I'm OK with it! Maybe it's because I'm older and have become used to the history of surprises in my life. Or maybe I'm resigned to the fact that my life projects always shape up in unexpected (and sometimes, unwanted) ways. But actually, recent developments are showing me that the one in charge is God himself. And that takes a whole load off!

Lately, I've been bothered by the "not enough" factor of who I am, or more accurately, what I do. If only I taught better, visited more, listened more carefully, shepherded more effectively, etc. All very self-centred and unrealistic. But really, the only thing I need to be is FAT (Faithful, Available, Teachable). This was one of the very first lessons I was taught by the guy who discipled me in first-year university. It's taken decades for the lesson to sink in.

Right now, I am part of an amazing new growth initiative in my worshipping community. I don't think I've so looked forward to the near future with my fellow sojourners in Christ as I do today. The thing is, although I'm the "leader" of the original "ideas and prayer" group, the vision and action that is being implemented has grown way past what we could engineer. The input and suggestions are creating something much better and more beautiful than I ever dreamed of. I tell you, the support and enthusiasm for where God is leading us just fills me with a sense of euphoria and anticipation. People who never talk to me are telling me they want to be part of this. It is something bigger than me or us. So, who is in control? Should I be surprised that God answers prayer?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). God is in control. Let me be FAT.

Loiter

Ideas. Opinions. As many as there are friends and co-workers. So much to think about, and I know I'm an expert at thinking. And thinking. And thinking. But, it is not enough just to keep on thinking; not enough to only have ideas and opinions.

Everyone's waiting for something to happen. But we are at a wait-and-see impasse. Things need to move forward and upward. And we need to be in it together.

Backfire

Give advice only once, and do it in private. Give it twice, and you're a nag; or worse, an old fogey ethnic parent; or even worse, both. Aaargh!

Alligator

Today, our house will be a little quieter, and perhaps a bit neater! In a few days, only our "baby" will still be with us. In a very real way, my father role must be second to the heavenly Father in my children's lives, which is as it should always be. I will not be with them in person, but I hope they know I love them, and pray for them.

You know, at times like this, I realize what a blessing they are to me. I am really proud of them and look forward to what the Father does with them.

Deficiency

There's so much more to do... ...pray, care, visit, mentor, write, counsel, thank, study, hang-out, phone, share...

Will I ever be able to live up to my job?